I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
