I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
