i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
