I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
