went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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