Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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