some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
