Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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