Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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