when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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