My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
