Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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