So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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