Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
