It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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