So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
