So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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