I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
