it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
