We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
