Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize