You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
