I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
