So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
