Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
