I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
