kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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