Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
