he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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