OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
