we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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