sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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