what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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