You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
