how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Text me some of your sweat
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