Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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