well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We have started to decorate penises.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
