found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
