he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
