We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
