please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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