The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
