forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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