I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
