he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
