Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
