I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
