you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
