it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
