I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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