I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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