apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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