fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
