I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
