Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
