i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
