just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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