Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
