I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
