i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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