In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
