Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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