Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
