Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
